Back in fashion

One of the best(or worst) jokes I have heard....

Support Engineer: Sir, the next step would be to right click your mouse and select option B from the contest menu.

Computer Savvvvy Guy on the other end: But...But I dont have a mouse - I am working on a laptop.

Support Engineer drops dead...

<<>>>

Height of Insanity - Handover List(Software Company)

Please turn in the following
1. Computer
2. Keyboard
3. Source Code(HC)
4. Source Code(SC)
5. Backup CDs

Now, the author of the form(Handover List) is not know but I am wondering what the person's skill set would be when the person asks for Hard Copy(HC) of the source code along with Soft Copy(SC) of the same source code. Apart from this, the person also needs the back up CD's.

Please Note: Yeah, we are still on earth and this is not a note from the stone age.

How to show contempt? - On a lighter note!

How to show contempt...

1) When a lady has too much perfume on her to suffocate the whole city - Go to her and ask what 'Room Freshener' it is!!!!
2) When someone claims to be the best in the business(they way he/she talks) - Ask him how to make PBJ(Peanut Butter Jelly) Sandwich
3) when someone asks you for the same thing again and again and expects a different answer - Ask them if they saw gandhi anywhere around.
4) When someone insults you blatantly and that person knows it was obvious- Ask them " Is that a Trick Question?"
5) When someone pulls a fast one on you - Ask them "Isn't that what I told you yesterday"

Something I hate to hear - Part 2

What would you like to have for dinner? Preferably something to eat!!!

How does the dress look on me? Whatever you are thinking....is right...let's go I am getting late

Can we have an intellectual conversation? I am dying, next time please...Not me...Why me...God please...make me deaf...PLEASEEEEEEEEEE

Star trek Joke

Captain...Beam Me...Captain...Beam Me...

ZZZZZzzzzzz

MFC Error: Unable to Connect: Port blocked!!!

Appraisals

Appraisal:

Enter Employee
Enter Employer
Smile...Smile...
Talk Sense...Receive Crap...
Hear Bullshit...Smile
Hear indirect abuse...Smile
Throw peanuts...Catch
Wag Tail...Exit

Something I hate to hear - Part 1

There are a few sentences I hate to hear from people(although I say them when I dont have anything else to say). To state a few:
1. Whats News? - I mean how stupid is this? If there was any news, wouldn't people know it by now? If you are asking about me, then I would say if there is any news before you ask.
2. Whats going on? Well, I am inside the office and hence cannot see what going on the road( Or is this a trick question ?@##@$@ Duh!!!)
3. How are you doing? I am like...whats wrong with you? Couldn't you come up with something better to ask? Couldn't you ask about the game previous day or about the current state of affairs? Will it suffice you if I say I am always doing fine and will do immaterial of whether you ask or not?
4. Do you have change? If I did, then I will be like George Costanza, walking with a BIG Valet that will give gravity a run for its money and I will be doing one of those figure skating tricks and standing on one leg!!!
5. What did you do today? Well, nothing until you just asked me this...

July 23 2007 - AB -2

SPAM - Seldom Produces Acceptable Memories

Abbreviations 1

MARRIAGE: Mockery After Rivals Rush Inside And Gather Enthusiasm
BONUS: Buildup of Nonsense, Unnecessary Surplus
SURE - Systematic Uncertainty Random Enthusiasm
JOB - Just Obvious Bullshit
INDIA - I Never Dreamt In Ages
MANAGEMENT - MAN AGEd MENTally
WOMEN - WOrry MEN
MICROSOFT - Masters in CRafting Orchestrated SOftware theFT
INTEL - Illogical Nonsense Technology Empowering Loosers
HUMAN - Hallucinating Unrealistic Mammal Affectionate Nevertheless
APPRAISAL - Atrocious Package Projected Reasonable And Inspiring - Slaughter Above Lunacy

Joke 2

what will you be if you dont have a place to live in india, your own country ?
NRI - No Residence Indian

Joke 1

The lion says to the cat...I wish I was like you so that I can drink milk and be happy...and the cat in return says...I wish I was like you so that I don't have to run behind the rats...they will bring them to me

First One

Strategy Meeting: People called from various offices globally and getting ass kicked for no problem of theirs